Another FurSquared has come and gone. For those who are new to this blog, FurSquared is a furry convention in Milwaukee, which was my old stomping ground in college. It is my favorite convention. This year, they went with a rennesance fair theme (I am too lazy to spell check that).
It all starts on Thursday. I had worked so much extra in the previous week that I accumulated enough hours to take the entire Thursday off to drive down. After loading my car, I drove down, and stopped in Tomah for some thrift store clothes that matched the theme. After stopping for gas in Alma Center, my CD player failed to eject the CD for Jimmy Buffet's Don't Stop the Carnival. After prying it out with another CD, I replaced the CD, and chose to listen to the aux cord the whole time instead. I stopped in Tomah, picked up some brown pants and a shirt, and got very reasonably priced barbecue at the BP Smokehouse. I made it the rest of the way down, and got to the city at around 3 PM. After going to the Fil-Fil for some habibi food (I had other engagements that night, otherwise I'd have hit one of my college haunts), I relaxed in the room and got extremely drunk. I also got to see my friend Meyneth, who I like very much.
I wake up exhausted on Friday morning, and eat an apple for breakfast. Friday's outfit was my high school bowling shirt, and the original crown and sash from when I won homecoming king, and some cutoff jorts for good measure. Because the convention was rennesance themed, they had volunteer trumpeters do fanfares whenever the queen walked onto the stage during opening ceremonies, or whenever someone was introduced. I was referred to the honorable Cornel by someone on the communications staff, and I got to play trumpet during opening ceremonies. I think afterwards I got lunch, spent money in the dealer's den, and hit up some panels. One of these panels was Battle of the Bards, where a bunch of people do musical acts with the chance to perform at the Royal Revelry (formal dance). I played bass trombone with my foot. Although the audience was impressed, I did not win, and I feel as if I could have performed better. The winner was someone who played accordian who was very nice but whose name I forgot. The runner up was someone dressed as Peter Griffin, who did not let up the impression until the final rap battle, where he said, "I broke up with Lois," then busted out laughing.
I ate dinner that night at the Draft & Co. tavern, across the street from the hotel. They have two entrees: the smash burger, and the chicken tenders. The smash burger was reasonably priced and phenomenal. They also had the New Glarus Brewing Company Framboise in stock, a delectable alcoholic drink that was available in a limited run that is one of my favorites. The highlight of the experience is that I got to run into Gale Tazzlin, one of my roomates from Anthrocon who played in the disco. Gale's cool. We chatted for like ten minutes, but he had to run off to play violin in the Royal Revelry. After I got done with my food, I headed up there with my trumpet.
The gimmick at the Royal Revelry is that Queen Gazzy would give opening remarks, and the trumpets would be intentionally disruptive. Hilarity ensued. The three trumpets there were me, Rod Ott, and Delta. We were eventually kicked out in the first ten minutes. We did one fanfare from the hallway, and then vibed in the ballroom the dance took place in. We had the idea to donate to get the queen to knight us, to which the queen said, "I'm gonna need to double fist this" (in reference to their alcoholic drinks). It was worth every penny, and resulted in a picture I will probably print. My best friend Zeph showed up afterwards, and we got the annual picture at the formal Fursquared function. I also had the Hobart plush that they made for me a couple years ago knighted for my own amusement. Unfortunately he was not beat with fish. Another odd thing I realized is that ren faire music sounds an awful lot like civil war band string music for some reason.
The festivity after this was the Zoobis Trash Bin Room Party. I drank an entire bottle of wine, then went on a five minute long rambling about how the entire southern United States is made up of traitors. Although more passionate than I would present it usually, I do not take back anything I said. Shoutout to my friend Roux for making me drink tons of water. I was not hungover in the morning.
I went to the Dealer's Den and bought smut. I then went to lunch with a bunch of friends, and got these fries from the Rod-n-Makk stall in the Third Street Market Hall that had Nashville hot chicken and mac and cheese on them. Talk about constipation. They were extremely good, though I couldn't finish them. After this, I went to a rehearsal for the Otter Chaos concert. They needed volunteer trumpet players, as they wanted to have video game fanfares play in between sets. We sounded great during rehearsal. I am unsure if we made the neighbors mad, but it at least sounded good.
I got dinner at some point in here? Maybe? Might have hit a panel which I then forgot about. Regardless, I missed the Down Bad Furlesque in order to give my panel: Grocery Stores I Feel Strongly About: An Unhinged Rambling. I was expecting to give a panel to an empty room. I was delighted to see that I had a full house. People were on the floor in the name of watching me yap about grocery shopping.
After going to the bar with some friends, I ended up turning in a little bit early that night after moving some things to the car. I didn't want to deal with elevator rush hour Sunday morning.
I ate dino nuggets for breakfast, and then took a couple hours to move a bunch of stuff to my car. I had nothing going on until noon, as I was playing trumpet during the Otter Chaos concert. I had a thing of dino nuggets for breakfast, and said goodbye to my friends, who I would see in due time but probably not for the rest of the convention.
Noon marked the Otter Chaos concert. The trumpets gathered and played fanfares between their normal songs, and we sounded great. It was a good introduction to a band who genuinely fucks. I had previously missed Otter Chaos to see the charity auction, and I really should have been doing it the other way around. It was 15 songs straight of video game BANGERS. I genuinely rediscovered the love for seeing and playing live music, something I occasionally forget even as a member of a community band. It was literally inspiring. I thought, "maybe I can get in playing shape like that and end up there!" And honestly? It lowkey happened; they said they have difficulties finding trumpet players sometimes so now I'm a scab for Otter Chaos. Haven't played any gigs yet, but I look forward to the first. I learned about this immediately after the concert when they sold me the band T-shirt at "member price." I felt so damn happy that day because of it.
After this, I did the murder mystery panel, where I LARPed as a shipping container that is sentient. He was very said and wanted to die. That's it. I then hit up the Smash or Pass, said some extremely unhinged remarks about how Remy from Ratatoullie doesn't have a flared base, and was the only person who said they'd smash Arlene from Garfield. I remember her being a bad bitch in the comic strips.
After the Smash or Pass came the "how to exorcize a con" panel. I was originally planning to leave at this point, but they wanted trumpet players for closing ceremonies, so I stayed. After the "how to exorcize a con" panel, I did some funny trumpet stuff for closing, saw that the convention was Y2K themed next year, and ran to the car and left.
An unhinged small detail is that I saw Chewie (relatively famous person in the area who is a lynx) standing in the hallway, and I regret not approaching her for a firm handshake. The irony is, 2 days later, she admitted to having the same issues of people being "too cool" for her to be confident enough to interact with them. It's funny how the people you think are cool are just as deranged and nervous as you are. It honestly makes me feel better about myself. I'll get a firm handshake out of her one day.
I got in the car on Sunday to drive home and made it in like 5 hours. I stopped at the Kwik Trip in the Wisconsin Dells for a snack and some gas.
For those who don't know yet, I have questioned my gender multiple times. It has gradually shifted from male to nonbinary. It had become so much of an issue that the gender crises are numbered, and this one is number four. Every few months there'd be a cycle of, "what happens if I was a woman?" Gender Crisis 4 was the worst so far; I was at the point where every time I would look in a mirror, I would appear vaguely feminine and do a double take and think, "honestly yeah that's pretty neat and I really like that."
Over the weekend, I had looked in mirrors several times to that effect. I had also worn tennis skirts and cutoff jorts and genuinely felt great in them. Zeph (raccoon friend) drew Hobart wearing a dress at a sketchbook swap and it felt extremely gender. At the time, I had concluded I was at least bigender.
Do you remember how my CD player broke on Thursday? Nothing was good on Sirius XM, so I decided to drive late at night with just me and my thoughts. The following truths became evident:
With these four bullets in mind, I had determined that I am a girl now. I hope my pay does not get cut by 23%.
This path was further justified in my mind yesterday on the drive home from work, with these statements:
Other foreshadowing includes the fact someone referred to me as "husband" and it felt wrong, same with "he/him" pronouns. It's not dysphoric, it just feels outdated.
One of the things I have to do now is find out if HRT is covered by my insurance, talk to my therapist, and then get a consultation scheduled. I want to do this the right way. I also want boobs.
One of the interesting things to have come out of this is what I still value even as my gender identity changes. I find it paramount that I remain the same person, or a marginal improvement to what I am. I have a female name picked out, but none of my male names feel dysphoric. I have a fairly masculine baritone with a midwestern accent, but I genuinely feel like hearing any other voice come out of my mouth would be wrong and would greatly upset me. I do not dislike my genitals. I am put together in a certain way. Even if my gender identity shifts, I have the same interests, faults, and benefits. This is important to me.
What's more important is that the final straw that ultimately lead to the start of the gender transition is that my car ate the CD for Jimmy Buffet's Don't Stop the Carnival. If I trusted my CD player, I would have listened to them all of the way home, leading me to not question my gender at all that night. My crippling Jimmy Buffet addiction led to the decision to transition. Thanks, Jimmy!
To sum up the weekend, it was enjoyable. What happened is:
TLDR: fursquared fun, she her pronouns please. See you when I feel like blogging next.